Chapter 12 – Veteran’s Hospital Final Visit

January 21, 1938 – February 14, 1938

Wichita, Kansas
January 21, 1938
Dearest Hazel – children,
	I had hoped to get a letter out to you today, but they have kept me busy all day.  I got in here 4:45, just in time for supper.  They are crowded to the walls.  The doctor on duty had my application at his fingers tip and after supper, they took me to the dressing room and had a hot shower and was in bed at 7:30, and I was the first patient to go through the Xray and laboratory this morning for a lot of tests.  And this afternoon, they had me in the office for the clinical record.  One of the orderlies told Dr. Curtis I was here and he came down to see me, and he said I would be rushed right through and get in to his department just as soon as they had an empty bed.
	This place is full of crippled men.  Dr. Curtis said there was a waiting list of 60 waiting.  Curtis said he would have known me had he seen me on the street.  He is awful nice to me.
	Honey, I think the hardest task I ever had was to say good bye to you and the children this time.  Some how I just couldn’t stand the idea of going away at this time of the year.  I am always afraid the weather will turn bad or that you and the children will suffer.  Write me right away, Honey, and tell me how you are getting along.  I had hoped that I could have given you some information at this time about my condition, and I am hoping I will be able to in my next letter.
	I didn’t have any use for the pajamas.  I didn’t think I would, and don’t send me the other pair.  Nor any other clothes.  They have all new pajamas and robes and they are real heavy and warm, and plenty of woolen blankets.
	It has been cloudy and gloomy all day but no moisture has fallen here and it is as dry or dryer than at home.
	Half of the patients here are from the West and you hear some pitiful stories from out there, and all wheat here looks like a complete failure here.
	There is a picture show tonight and most of the patients have gone over.  I am not going over tonight.  These pictures some times work on my nerves.
	Friday a.m.   I changed my mind and went to the show last night, and enjoyed it very much.  This is another foggy and cloudy a.m.  I am feeling fine this a.m.  Had a fine rest last night.  I am hoping I will get out of this receiving ward today.  I am going back to the clinical records office this morning to complete some records.
	Honey, I just can’t find anything much to write about yet and I will close this.  With all my love to all of you.
						Carl 
P.S.  I will try to get a letter out to you so you may have it Monday.

Wichita, Kansas
January 22, 1938
My Dearest Hazel – children,
	It is 1 o’clock and I have had my dinner, and I am writing you to get this out so you may have it Monday.  
	I had a pretty hard time of it Thursday and yesterday, and I entered the hospital this morning, and my morale has come up 100%.  I had my first Electric Treatment this a.m.  Was X-rayed and started on the medicine.  Curtis said he jumped me over 35 men who was here before I came.
	A Mr. Willis, who represents the Veterans Bureau, sent for me yesterday to talk to me about my claim.  He said it is a 1st class claim and it should have been granted 10 years ago.  He said if it is at all possible for me to get 1 or 2 more affidavits, and after going over the whole situation with him, he suggested that I write Kirk Wood at Overland Park and ask him for an affidavit.  He picked me up unconscious in his ambulance one morning after the Argonne drive and he said we just must get this claim through, for it is just and right.
	Dr. Curtis said by Monday morning, my treatment would be in full swing.  I haven’t talked to him yet about my condition and, of course, he won’t know anything about it until reports from the laboratory comes back and the medicine and treatment begins to take effect.
	I am anxious to hear how you are getting along.  Did you get the money from Kelly?  How are the children ?? help ??? to make and let me know.
	I will write you tomorrow. Can you send me a few stamps.
	Love to all of you.
						Carl 

Wichita, Kansas
January 25, 1938
Dearest Hazel – children,
	It is 2 o’clock.  I was taking a nap and the orderly woke me up and gave me your letter, and don’t ask me if I was glad to have it.  Your letters mean so much to me.
	I am resting so much better and can begin to feel the effect of treatment and medicine already.  I didn’t sleep so well last night, so I was making up for it when the letters came.  I don’t know why I didn’t get it in the morning mail.  He usually comes in about 9 a.m..
	You had better let Max take the car down and have it fixed.  Did they put water in the battery?
	This country is having the worst dust storm that I have seen since I was in Camp Doniphan, and it is reported to be much worse west of here.
	It was sure fine of Dr. Butin (?) to send you the magazine.  They are fine people.  
	I am waiting for examination of heart and lungs when the X-ray picture comes from the library.
	No, you do not need to write Juanita for these papers.  We do not need them.
	I am not surprised to hear about Mr. Bickhart.  Several patients has gone up there from here lately.
	Yes, I go to the services and show.  I take a patient in a wheelchair over with me each time I go over.  There are about 20 of them in wheelchairs.  I get a good deal of enjoyment out of the radio this time.  I guess because I can’t be outdoors now.
	The Ladies Auxiliary of the Legion from Salina just came through and they left me a tablet as I don’t smoke any more.  Do not send any more money, Honey.  I don’t need a thing.
	How is your fuel holding out?  I am going to write your Mother and Dad a letter tomorrow.  Have you heard from them since I left?  Ask Max if he can find time to write me a few lines.  I miss you all dreadful, Honey, but I don’t dare to think much about it.  I am here to get well and I am going to do that.
	Love to all of you.

Wichita, Kansas
January 27, 1938
Dearest Hazel – children,
	It is about 10:30 and I have just finished the Electric Treatment for today, and I thought I would try to get a letter off to you.  I am glad to inform you that I am improving as fast as I dare to expect.  I get lonesome for all of you, and that is the hardest thing I have to fight.
	I am going to get a letter off today to Kirk Wood and see if I can get an affidavit from him.
	Listen, Dear, I told you that the Hines (?) Hospital was a hospital for the insane.  I was mistaken.  Dr. Curtis told me it is the most modern hospital in the country and that they operate on everything.  In fact, he said it is the last hope, and he thinks it is a wonderful institution.
	I went up on the 3rd floor yesterday to call on a Joe Bean from Chanute.  Dr. Haynes asked me to call on him.  He is pretty sick, but so much better than when he came here, and is able to sit up in bed some now.  He said the doctors at the Johnson hospital nearly ruined him and he knows he would have died if he hadn’t gotten out of there.  He is a bachelor.  His Mother and Sister lives in the 1000 block on South Santa Fee.
	Dr. Curtis said Phil Streeter came up but he sent him back.  I didn’t ask him why.  He is awful busy.
	This is a beautiful day here.  The sun is shining bright and it si not very cold.
	I had my lungs, heart and eyes examined yesterday and I rather think that they are about through examining me now.
	I forgot to tell you that they examined my kidneys and said they can’t find a thing wrong with them.
	I was reading a Geographic Magazine from the library and it shows about 60 pictures from Denmark.  I am going to save it and bring it to you, or mail it to you.
	1 p.m.   Went to dinner and will finish this.  I enjoyed my dinner better than any meal I have had here yet.  Pork roast, sweet potato, cobb salad, pea soup, lemon pie.  
	Honey, I never know how lonesome I could be to see all of you, but I must forget it.
	I am going to close this and mail it out.  I think I will have a letter from you about tomorrow.
	All my love and best wishes.
						Carl

Wichita, Kansas
January 29, 1938
Dearest Hazel – children,
	Your letter came yesterday and I certainly was glad to hear from you, and to know you are getting along as well as you say.
	This is Saturday afternoon and it is pretty lonesome from now until Monday a.m., in particular for us who have no visitors.  I am hoping and praying that your folks are spending today and tomorrow with you.  I know how lonesome it is for you there now.
	I saw in the Times here where Mr. Bigheart died at Hines yesterday.  I guess he has had a pretty hard time of it.
	Yes, there was a balance of $1.07 due the gas company on the December bill, and I paid Benedict $9.50 what we owed them but not for the last load of coal.  I wrote a letter to Kirk Wood yesterday and hope to hear from him in a few days.
	I am getting along about as well as I can expect with the treatment, but I am not satisfied staying here away from you and the children.  But Honey, I will promise you that I’ll make the best of it and listen to Dr. Curtis.
	I am going to close this so it will go out this afternoon so Max may bring it to you Monday noon.
	Love to all of you.
						Carl

Wichita, Kansas
February 2, 1938
Dearest Hazel – children,
	Your letter reached me about noon yesterday, and of course, Dearest, you know how glad I always am to hear from you.  I had intended to answer your letter yesterday, but I have had such a bad cold in my head that I postponed it until today.
	I feel I am getting along pretty fine now, and am improving as fast as I dare to expect.  Honey, you said that if I had to spend much time away from home you would not stay alone.  Well, I don’t blame you a bit, Dear.  You are having a hard row right now, and I am coming back to you and the children just as soon as I possible can.  I just feel ashamed of myself for going away and leaving you and the children the way I have, but I felt I must take advantage of this treatment, and see if I can possible get my claim established.
	I enjoyed my stay here last summer.  I guess because we could be out doors, but it is different now.  This place as a prison now, and I am telling you that I have no intention of spending my life away from home and family.  I had no idea how much I would miss all of you and I am going to cut this stay just as short as I can.
	You said you would write me Tuesday, and I am looking for a letter today, and if it comes, I’ll write you tomorrow.
	All my love to all of you, and kiss and love all the kids for me.
						Carl 

Wichita, Kansas
February 5, 1938
My Dearest Hazel – children,
	Your letter of Thursday just came and I will answer you at once.
	This leave feeling much better and I can say that my legs are gradually getting stronger.  Of course, we must remember that I am taking medicine, treatment, and resting all day long.
	I haven’t had a chance to talk to Dr. Curtis yet about my case.  He is awful busy.  The patients are coming in and going out every day and 90% of them seems to be having the same trouble that I have.
	I enjoyed it over here last summer so much, but I can’t say that I do now.  I am told by Mr. Willis that we will have to concentrate on trying to make service connection on my hospital record in France, and also on Dr. Gist’s and Dr. Hur???’s affidavits.
	I wrote Kirk Wood last Saturday asking him if he felt he could send me an affidavit, but I haven’t heard from him yet.  If I do not hear from him by Monday a.m., then we will start to work on what records we have here.  The clinical record from France shows that I was treated for Broncial, gas, and some litle hearth trouble, and Mr. Willis said we will have to concentrate on that for, for no one with muscular trouble is being considered for service connection under the present legislation for veterans.
	This is one thing about this thing, Dearest.  I certainly do not intend to spend the rest of my life away from you and our children, and at the same time, I am going to give them a reasonable chance and see what they can do for me.
	We had a nice picture show last night, and the American Legion is putting one on here tonight.  I don’t attend all of them.  Some of them are hard on my nerves.  It is my intentions now of trying to come home some time a week after next.
	Honey, I am making a hard fight here now to get back home as soon as I can.
	With all my love to all of you, and may God bless you all.
						Carl 

Wichita, Kansas
February 7, 1938
My Dearest Hazel – children,
	It is almost 2 o’clock and I will answer your letter of Friday which came in before dinner.
	We are having spring weather up here.  The temperature went to 68 yesterday and I think it was a litle higher right before noon today, but the wind is blowing strong now and it is cooler.  That is how we catch cold here.  The wind blows right through the windows and doors, and of course, causes a draft.
	Dearest, you ask me what I do to pass time.  Well, I read and try to rest and do just the best I can.  I am not dissatisfied, Honey.  Please believe me.  I am having a pretty hard fight now, but I am coming out of it.  The hardest thing for me is being away from all of you.
	Yes, my kidneys are a lot better and so are my legs.  Of course, I spend most of my time on the bed.
	I am mighty sorry to hear what Don is up against.  It does look like we will see some pretty hard times before this is over.  Is the cement plant running?  I wonder if we could get Don a job with Kuykendalls?  Of course, if the Tripoli Plant goes down, I expect the cement plant will go down.  Have you seen Mr. Graham since I left?  I want to write him and tell him what I can tell him at this time, but I will wait until I hear from you.
	No, Honey, I do not need stamps or money.  I am using my last stamp to mail this letter, but I still have .15 left and I can get along for a while yet without a haircut.  I am sort of looking for Bernie Goodrum to come out today.  I sent word by a man in Mr. Pepper’s office that I was here.  He said he had met him and I would like to talk to someone I know.  I haven’t seen Mr. Pepper since I came here.  He is fishing down in Mexico, they say.  He is expected back this week.
	It is 3 o’clock now and there are not a great many visitors here yet, and of course, most of them are from Wichita.  
I hope Carl’s teeth are better by this time.  How I do miss the children and you when I think about you, and I do all the time. 
I stopped for a while and read a litle, went to supper, and then to the service.  The minister had a fine sermon and I enjoyed it so much.  It is now 7 o’clock and I’ll finish this and mail it before I go to bed, but I don’t expect it will reach you until Tuesday.
Just think.  Max 15 years old.  I never will forget the day that he was born.  How time flies.  I would love to live over those days again.  Would you, Dear?
You asked me to write you a long letter, but what will I write you about.  It is the lonesomest place in the world.  I don’t want to write you about the misery and suffering I see here, and I feel I have done pretty well this time, and I will close this now.  With all my love to all of you, and kiss the children for me.
					Carl 

Wichita, Kansas
February 11, 1938
My Dearest Hazel – children,
	Your Wednesday letter came this morning and I will answer you at once.
	I just wrote a letter to Mr. Graham, and told him about all I could at this time.  I feel just like you do, Honey, about Mr. Graham.  He is as honest as the day is long, and he will do all he can for us.
	What I am mostly worrying about now, Dearest, is yours and the children’s welfare.  There is no need for me to conceal the fact that my nerves are snapping, and I certainly want to work with you and Graham for the best of everybody.  I feel I will be able to come home this month.  My legs are getting better, my appetite is not as good as usually.
	The weather is awful pretty here now when the wind does not blow too strong.  I have been before the rating board and they told me that I would be given an opportunity to furnish any additional evidence I might find.  I haven’t never heard from Wood.
	I have had dinner and will finish and mail this out, and I will write you again tomorrow so you will be sure to get it Sunday.
	All my love to all of you.
						Carl 

Wichita, Kansas
February 14, 1938
[Note:  The letter below was included with Carl’s February 14, 1938 letter to Hazel.  “Craigh” may be “Mr. Graham”?]
Dear Craigh,
	I have just received a letter from my wife telling me of the conversation she had with you regarding the disposal of the place.  Craigh, I don’t believe I will ever recover to the point where I will be in shape to work out my salvation.  This thing has affected me physically, my nerves, and I have made an awful mess of this.
	Craigh, my wife and I both have the most confidence in you to handle this thing and anything you and Hazel agree on will be allright with me.
	I was certainly never cut out to be a business man, and I was a long time finding it out.  I feel I will be in shape to come back in the next 30 days, but I don’t know whether I will be able to do much.  If you want to and you can, come up here and bring Hazel if you want to.  I am getting some benefit out of the treatment, but the surroundings here are not helping me any.  I am trying to see if I can be back in shape where I can in some way take care of my family.
	Write me, or come and see me.
						Kindest regards,
						Carl

Wichita, Kansas
February 14, 1938
My Dearest Hazel – children,
	I received your nice letter yesterday and also Mary’s valentine.
	This is just a note to let you know that after having talked to Dr. Curtis this morning, he has decided to send me home tomorrow, Tuesday, and I expect to be in on the bus in the evening.
	All my love to all of you.
						Carl


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

	Two days later, on February 16, 1938, Carl Theodore Hansen took his own life.  He was a good and honorable man.